


Fading

by audreyslove



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:52:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreyslove/pseuds/audreyslove
Summary: For #OQAngstFestFor prompts # 9, 13, 16, 17, 18, 21, 26, 34, 35, 49





	Fading

He’s fading.

There’s no modern medicine here, no ability to tell how he is, but Regina has lived in the Enchanted Forest long enough to know the tell-tale signs.

At first it’s just a flash. The bright red lipstick she still applies (he can’t see it from where he sleeps, but perhaps this is the day he will wake and he will see her the same as he left her) turns grey, she blinks and then it’s back to red.

She think it's just a trick of light, or the exhaustion of her mind playing tricks on her.  But then little Roland’s cape turns grey, and she just  _knows._

She has heard the stories before.  Of powerful magic created when soulmates meet, and of the powerful loss when one leaves this world.  It rips at the survivor, takes away color from their world.

She never truly believed those rumors.  Before she was split, she didn’t suffer the colorblindness when the other Robin died.  But she didn’t live in the Enchanted Forest then. And now….

She knows he’s dying.

She’s tried every spell she can think of, kissed him until her mouth bled (true loves kiss should break any curse, but this is not a curse), but nothing works.  She can use magic to keep him well-hydrated and well-fed, but she cannot cure him.

“You’re going to make yourself sick,” Will tells her one night.  “You need to eat, you need to drink.”

“Thank you for your medical advice, Will Scarlet,” she bites back.  “Don’t you have some coins to pilfer?”

Will leaves, an apology on his lips.  

He needn’t though.  He’s right. She will be delirious soon if she doesn’t feed herself, and yet it’s all she can do to keep Roland fed and happy and hopeful.  She can’t care for herself as well.

“Will you please wake up?” she asks in a meek voice.  “Please, before it’s too late. I know you’re fading.”

“He is,” says a voice smooth as silk behind her.

The hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

She turns to face him, the handsome, perfect looking man in gray robes standing behind her.  Lucifer.

“You did this,” Regina snarls.  “And I will  _end_ you for it.”

“You cannot kill the devil, Regina,” Lucifer says cooly back.  “It would be a lot of wasted effort for you to even try again. Did you not learn the first time?”

She should have learned.  It cost her everything.

Lucifer had been terrorizing a town nearby, so she had tried to protect it, her and Robin.  They were entirely unprepared for  _him._  He’s not from their world, from their myths.  There are entirely different gods with entirely different magic.  But the realms are merged now, so they’ve inherited some new villains, it seems.

She’s fought the Dark One, but Lucifer is something completely different.  Sadistic and powerful, he killed everyone in sight but Regina and Robin with a wave of his hand.

And then he set the little hut on fire, the one where John was hiding Roland.

Robin ran in, he managed to save Roland while Regina fought off Lucifer.   

But he  _had_ to go back for John, and that’s when it happened.  Regina was busy trying to heal Roland, adn Robin ducked back, without her even noticing until little Roland’ slips turned pink.

By the time she was able to rescue Robin, he was unconscious but breathing.

The smoke, she thinks, cut out his oxygen from his brain, made it hard for him to revive himself.  

And she’s waited for him ever since.  

Her eyes dart back at Lucifer defiantly, ready for death to take her.

“I’ll never learn.  I’ll never stop fighting you!” she bites back.  “So you might as well just kill me now if you want to.  Get it over with.”

“My dear,” Lucifer drawls, “don’t you think you’d be dead if I wanted you so?”

“Then why?  Why did you spare me?  And Robin, I—”

“I want something more precious than your life, Regina.” Lucifer says, making himself at home, sitting next to her soulmate’s body.  “I want your soul.”

“Do you?” She fights the urge to laugh.  “If you’re so all-powerful, just take it.”

“Oh, I cannot take it without your express permission,” he explains, smirking at her.

“Then fuck off,” Regina responds.  “I’m not giving you a damned thing.”

“I think you will when you hear my offer,” Lucifer responds.

“You’ve taken almost everything from me.” She motions to Robin.  “If you think I’m going to make a deal with you to save my life—”

“Oh no, not your life, my dear.” He smiles almost sympathetically.  “Your soulmate, it’s breaking you up, I see. And that little boy, little Roland.  Would you believe he’s suffering too?”

“What would you know of Roland,” Regina rolls her eyes.  “That boy isn’t yours, I may not know much about you or your people but I know he isn’t part of your world.  His soul is pure.”

“Mm, indeed he isn’t mine.  But I can see into him. He’s having nightmares.  Keeping them from you, of course, keeping them from everyone.”

Lucifer flicks his fingers delicately, and a wisp of magic falls, turns into a projector, showing her the flashes Roland must suffer at night.  

Monsters, eating the people he loves.  Marian, Robin, Regina, and now the Queen and Locksley.

Until only Roland is left, alone and lost in the forest.

“I can stop all this,” Lucifer soothes.  “Roland will be healthy and well-adjusted.  And your soulmate will live.”

She wants this, so badly, but as much as she wants it l, years of trying to revive Daniel has taught her one thing. “You can’t bring back the dead,” she says, her voice low and meek. “Not in this world.”

“No, but he’s not dead.  Yet. It’s my curse that has a strangle on him, not the smoke inhalation.  I release the curse, and he lives.”

“What do you want from me?” Regina asks.  “I’ll trade my life for this, if you promise, swear a blood oath—”

“Oh, I don’t want your  _life._ ”  Lucifer smiles devilishly.  “Life is fleeting and short, it’s nothing in the mind of an immortal.”

“Then what do you want?” She asks, her eyes fixed.

“Your soul, Regina,” Lucifer coos.  “And the rest of your life will be a happy one, until I call in my favor.  You will live together for  _years_.”

She thinks of her heart, no longer only dark, but light.  But then, she thinks of the lives she took, thousands of innocents slaughtered.  Her heart might have light in it, but her soul is dark, her sins are great.

There will be no happiness when she is dead.  Who her soul belongs to does not matter. Whatever replacement Hades has, Lucifer, or whatever dark force hangs in the mix, she knows it won’t be good.

So who cares who gets it, after all?

“You have a deal.”

She sees his grateful smile flash, and then his gray robes flicker and change into a deep crimson red before he evaporates into the moonlight.

The rich vibrant tones have returned, she never thought she would be grateful to see the small stains on her wooden table again, to appreciate the soft bruise on her hand, the slightly discolored spot on the end of her bed sheet that had become imperceptible to her over these past few weeks.

She is especially thankful for color, however, as she watches Robin slowly overcome he ill affects of the curse.  First, his ash-white completion turns less pale, then subtle pinkening of his fingers, slowly, his skin turns that deep tan Robin had had before the curse took him.  When the redness in his cheeks  return — deep crimson strokes that flare and curl underneath healthy skin, she is unable to breath.

The steady rising and falling of his chest makes her dizzy with hope.  

And then she sees his hand moving.  Just a little twitch of his fingers at first.  

Regina touches them with reverence.  

“Please, Robin, please, wake up.”

He coughs then.  He’s never coughed, never made a sound since she found him in the fire that night.

“Can you feel this?” She asks, touching his warm cheek.  She can feel it now, he’s full of life.

She watches his face for every sign of life, every muscle contraction, every movement until his eyelids flutter open.

“Robin?” she asks tentatively.

She watches his as his eyes dart across the room, his brow furrows, confused, until he sees her face.

“R’gina?” he murmurs.

“I’m here,” She cries, sobbing onto his shoulder, “I’m here, I’m here.”

“What happened?  Is Roland alright?  John, is he—?”

She takes a deep breath, and explains the events as best she can.

Leaving out one important detail, that is.

They grieve John together, but it’s hard not to feel grateful, and happy even, as Robin takes her in his arms and swears not to leave their family again.

.::.

Years.  They have years together.  Almost two decades. Passionate, wonderful years go on, until that night is just a distant memory.

The color is there, bright and effervescent as ever.  Every bright blue sky, every bright shining sunflower, every crackling deep red flame, it is all a reminder to her that he is alive and well.

If anything the color in her world grows deeper and richer as her life continues.  She can’t explain how, exactly, but everything she sees is over saturated as if she were looking through one of those photo editing filters of the other realm.

It’s beautiful.  Robin comments on it one morning, how gorgeous the sunsets are these days, how beautiful the ocean looks, was it always such a deep blue?  Was there always bright turquoise hints in every crest of a wave?

“Everything looks better when you’re in love,” she answers, earning a sappy smile from her soulmate.

“You guys!  Come  _onnn,”_ Roland groans, exasperated at his parents lovesick antics.

They cannot help but laugh.

They are deliriously happy as the years pass.

Roland grows from child to teenager to man, strong and well taught, He becomes an archer with a noble cause just like his father, with the quick wit and resilience of his mother.  

He’s a force to be reckoned with.  He has gone to other Kingdoms to free villagers of monsters and dark magic.  

He’s found someone to love, even.  A young girl by the name of Sofia, a strong, well-meaning Princess who has grown into a beautifully adventurous woman.  She suits Roland well.

Regina truly believes he’s found his happy ending.

And she has found hers.

Even as she ages she finds herself growing closer to Robin, until the intimacy overwhelms her, makes her feel bright and clean, pure in a way she hadn’t found herself capable of feeling.

It’s like walking on air, finally feeling unburdened by the pain and guilt of her past sins.

But all good things things must come to an end, it seems.

For Regina, no happiness has ever been permanent.  

Everything gets take away from her.

She’s brushing her hair in the vanity when  _he_ appears again.  Red, royal robes, hair slicked back, standing behind her in the mirror.  As non-threatening and seductive as ever.

Her blood rushes cold.  No.

She thought they had more time together.  It’s not fair.

She’s not even that  _old_ yet.  

“It’s time, my dear,” Lucifer coos.

“Not yet,” she begs, and the Devil just chuckles.

“I didn’t expect to take you so early myself, to be honest,” he admits with a shrug. “Do you know why I chose you, Regina?”

She swallows heavily and nods her head.

“Because I have the biggest potential for darkness in the world,” she mutters.  “It’s not a surprise. I’ve known.”

Lucifer laughs.  “It seems you don’t know anything.  You don’t have the greatest potential for darkness.   But your soul is special. You were redeemed, dragged from the blackest of the black, the darkness, into the light.  A redeemed soul is a rare prize. And since I left you, you’ve only become lighter. I had to act now, I don’t know if you could get any brighter.  Wouldn’t want you to accidentally darken and me to lose any of that energy.”

Her mouth drops.

She made the deal because she never once thought redemption was truly possible.  She always thought her soul belonged in the depths of hell, so what did it matter if Lucifer laid special claim to it?

But it seems she had a light soul, after all, and gave up an eternity with her soulmate for a few short years.

“There is power in a redeemed soul, rare, special power.  And yours will be particularly special — an unimaginable force, I would say.  We are going to do great things, my dear.”

The terror and sadness in her eyes must amuse him, because he smiles at her, then frowns, contemplating something.

“I’ll give you one last night with him,” he promises.  “Assuming you promise to do nothing to ruin your redemption, that is.  If you try, I’ll kill him, of course.”

And what’s another promise made to the Devil, when she’s lost everything?

.::.

She's wearing his favorite dress, has cooked his favorite meal, and opened the bottle of wine she had saved for a special occasion.  

And he doesn’t know why.  

She looks gorgeous, but he can see a hint of worry underneath her false smile.

“What is it, love?” he asks, reaching for her hand.  He always feels more connected to her when they touch, it’s like he can sense her emotion more clearly.  

She tries to wave it off, tell him it’s nothing, but he presses.  

“We don’t keep secrets, love.  I’m here. For anything. Good or bad.”

He senses the hesitation in her face, the twitch in her lips that says she is really concerned about what she will say.  

“Perhaps it’s better if you don’t know this. I want this to be a good night, and it might put a damper on things.”

“But I know that something is wrong,” he presses, “I won’t be able to enjoy anything until I know what is wrong.

He watches as tears form in the corners of her eyes, crystal drops that slide down her beautiful cheeks.  No, this is serious.

“I don’t think you’ll be very happy with me,” she says meekly.

“Try me,” he smirks. Because truly however horrible, they will get through this together.  They always do. “I highly doubt there’s anything you could tell me wearing that dress while I’m drinking this wine that will upset me.  You’ve picked a good day, my love.”

Maybe she will confess to some minor crime, a slip-up that she takes seriously but he never has.  Maybe she flirted a bit too much with one of the local men (he wouldn’t really care about that). Maybe it’s worse.  Maybe she used dark magic. It could have led to horrible consequences and he wouldn’t care. He knows her, inside and out.  Whatever has happened, they will handle it together.

 

“Do you remember that night when you saved Roland from that fire?” she asks.

Robin swallows heavy.  “When we lost John. I remember, Regina.  It was awful. I still don’t know how I made it out alive.”

Regina bites her lip.  He can see the tears forming and he’s utterly perplexed.

“You didn’t,” she says, her voice pitchy and reedy.  

“I didn’t what?” he asks, “love, what is wrong?  Did you have a nightmare about it? That night was traumatic for all of us, you should have told me—”

“You didn’t make it out,” she says over a whisper.  “I got you, but you were unconscious, and you were dying.  Days turned into weeks. I was going to lose you.”

“But I pulled through in the end,” He reminds.  “And i’m alive next to you, about to drink all of your fine wine.”

“I sold my soul to get you back,” Regina whispers, her lips wavering.  “To him, Lucifer. Didn’t you wonder why he spared me, spared us, and never came back?  It was all for this. He wanted a deal. And I took it.”

Everything spins and twists, the earth won’t stay still.

He knows she’s telling the truth and yet his body and mind revolt against her words.  She can’t, she has come to far to be cursed to an eternity of misery.

Nothing feels real, the earth seems to freeze in that moment.

“No,” he whispers.  “It can’t be, it—”

“The deal was already made, and he’s called in his favor,” Regina drains the rest of her wine.  “I’m only here to say goodbye. To tell you how wonderful you’ve made my life, to thank you for brightening it.  You are an amazing man. I’m forever grateful.”

“Please, tell me this is a joke.” he pleads, begging the gods it isn’t true.  “Please, Regina, tell me you didn’t desecrate your soul like this.”

“Robin.”  She’s crying now, little wracked sobs shaking her.  “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t lose you, I had to, to save your life.”

He hates that this happened. He hates even more that it happened because of  _him._

But she had to know this wasn’t his wish.

“I didn’t ask for any of this!” Robin screams. “Why didn’t you let me die?  Regina, we could have spent eternity together after you passed, it was only our mortal lives.  Now? You’re gone. We don’t get that.”

“Oh please,” Regina rolls her eyes.  “Did you really think we would end in the same place in the afterlife?  I was always going to end up in hell.”

“No,” Robin insists.  “You know that’s not true.  You are a good person.”

He sees a flicker of pain in her eyes, and then he realizes that she knows it now, knows she made a mistake.  But then, back then they were too new. She thought she was selling a cursed soul.

“I slaughtered thousands, Robin.  How could I ever think an eternity with you was possible?”

He hates himself from decades ago, from not telling her then what he saw in her, for building her ego enough to where she knew she was capable of goodness and deserving of heaven.  But she won’t have it now, and all he can do is cry.

“There has to be a way out of this, god damn it Regina, how could you do this?!”

She looks absolutely terrified and beyond grief, and he regrets his screams instantly.  She is paying the ultimate price for his life, after all.

“Robin, this is our last night together,” she swallows heavily,  tears falling down her face. “And I can’t do anything about it, I’ve tried.  I’ve looked, secretly, for years, trying to find a solution. None exists. Do you really want to spend our last night fighting?”

He doesn’t.  

So he tries to enjoy every last moment with her.  Wine and food are abandoned in favor of holding her.  Her tears mesh with his, fall on her skin and cheeks as they kiss and touch each other with a desperation he’s never felt before.

If only, if only, maybe she can stay….

“I’ve never loved anyone as deeply as you, save for my children,” she says.  “You made my life so rich. You gave me kindness. I could have led a miserable existence, it would have been fair, given all the suffering inflicted on me.  But it’s been a good life, Robin. I have so many wonderful memories.”

He’s unable to stop crying, but he fights through the sobs, taking her hand in his and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“As do I, thanks to you.”

“Tell Roland I died doing something ridiculous,” she smiles.  “That boy has a sense of adventure. I want to make him proud.  Cave diving, cliff jumping, something.”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now,” Robin begs, “Please, let’s try to make this one last wonderful night.”

“Alright,” She says, that fake smile plastered to her face.  “Let’s just spend this night being happy.”

They try.

He wants to make love to her one last time, he really does, gods  know she deserves to feel earthly pleasure on her last night. But he just can’t get out of his head that it’s the last time, the last time he’ll taste her, last time he’ll feel her clenching around him, last time he’ll feel whole and at peace with the world, the last time he will watch her jaw drop, her little moans and sighs of pleasure.  The last time  _she_ gets to feel like that again.

So he tries, but he can’t.

“It’s okay,” Regina soothes, though he sees a slight disappointment in her eyes that will no doubt sear into his memory forever.  “Just hold me, for awhile?”

He does, holds her and tells her again and again how much he loves her, until the sunrises.

She gets up gingerly, as if she is trying not to wake him.  But he’s not slept a wink.

“Please don’t go to where I can’t follow,” he begs.

Her eyes are wet and shining with tears in the sunlight.  “I want the rest of your life to be happy, even if it feels like you’re forgetting me, do it.  Move on,” she begs. “Find someone new, enjoy life. Find someone to spend eternity with.”

“I only want you,” he rasps.

But she fades away into the sunlight then, erodes before his eyes.  

She is gone and he is left standing on this earth all alone, left staring out the beautiful window she was standing in front of just seconds ago.  He can see through it now, it’s a bright, beautiful morning, blue skies overlooking the lush green forest. He blinks away tears. Once, twice, a third time.  And something is wrong with his eyes, because the green of those trees has faded, the bright blue sky has changed into something more gloomy.

It’s a curious thing. The world around him has changed so dramatically, everything dark and gray.

He knows what this means, he’s heard the tales, of soulmates separated by death draining vibrance from the world for the remaining.

But yet he never truly believed it happened until now.

It seemed too cruel for the world to take so much from him and leave such a constant reminder of his loss.

But the world is nothing but cruel, it seems.

Regina is gone now.  And she took all the color from his world with her.


End file.
